|street art across from the Brooklyn Academy of Music|
This is a weird week in that I’m not going to be talking about a film festival beginning or ending. I’ve been doing that a great deal lately, and after tonight I’ll be doing it again for the next three weeks as Japan Cuts and Fantasia all begin and then in rapid succession they, as well as NYAFF end. If nothing else at least you know what you’ll be reading on Sunday nights through July.
I had no idea what to post tonight so since I figured I'd go completely off the board and throw you one of the few stories I've written in a while. I had no idea what to do so I decided to go completely off the board and share it with you- enjoy THE READING
Manny groaned-there were angels at the bar.
Angels at the bar-any bar- was bad.
Angels at a bar with a reading was worse.
They didn't care. They'd get wild and crazy and if that wasn't bad enough they had big ass flaming swords.
Manny didn't mind so much, except that his plan to do something to stand out had to be revised for something much more sedate.
Manny saw Eden who was running things. She was busy scurrying around but stopped and went towards him when she saw him walking her way.
They air kissed Manny didn't understand the custom, but hey, Eden kept him drunk, fed and published so he went with it.
"You saw?" he said indicating the boisterous ones by the bar
"Yes" she whispered.
"You Warned everyone?"
"As best I could."
Manny shook his head.
"Not to worry, I have you down the list. Hopefully they'll have left by then"
"Or killed everyone on stage" he thought.
Manny went over to get himself a drink. This was going to be ---interesting.
Manny got his drink . He nodded to one of the angels who was looking him over. He then took up a spot by the door that had good sight lines. If this went south he was going to go...
Eden took the stage. She kept her normally bubbly personality on low boil. "Hi everyone!" she then tore through her opening remarks at speed. "And now I want to introduce to you a fine writer making his first appearance..."
Manny closed his eyes and turned away. This was....
A commotion. Manny turned back. The guy making his way to the stage was fumbling his pages and drawing the attention of the winged ones...
"I...er..Hi..." he stammered. "I....I...I..I'm going to do, uh a story...." his voice had become a whisper.
"Louder" said a voice
"I said I'm going to do a st...story..."
"LOUDER" it boomed from the bar
The kid looked up. "What?"
"I said LOUDER!!!" bellowed the angel stepping forward and extending his wings.
The kid looked at the angel, blanched and then ran out a door. Manny wasn't sure where the kid went only that he was gone and the angels were laughing.
Eden without missing a beat took the stage. "Wasn't that----------interesting"
"Our next reader is a poet, one of the best I've run a cross"
Manny could see a clean cut guy with glasses looking straight at Eden imploring her with his eyes to skip him....
"Dave, come on up..."
Dave made his way to the stage. Manny was pretty sure that he mumbled a Brazilian death curse as he passed Eden.
Dave pulled himself together and began like a trooper.
“I've been experimenting with erasing, where I take passages from a novel, play or poem and modify the text by erasing sections and modifying others. Here's a piece based on Shakespeare's Henry V.”
Several of the angels stood bolt upright.
Manny pulled Eden to him "Eden" he murmured" You should have warned him."
Manny was later to find out she did. But Dave was either too frightened or just didn't realize that you don't fuck up Shakespeare in front of an angel.(no you don't you really don't)
As the reading went on the angels just turned and glared.
And then it began low:
"What’s he that wishes so?
My cousin, Westmoreland?"
The words from the speech, the words that Dave had mangled so-
"God’s will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,"
coming slowly-quietly-perfectly from the biggest angel....
He moved toward the stage. Manny wasn't sure if he walked or floated but he got louder as he went
"Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
But if it be a sin to covet honour"
"He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam’d,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian"
Finally he was reciting the words perfectly, and I do mean perfectly in such a way as to make it impossible to ever hear the St Crispin's Day speech again. It was a perfect performance and when it was done. The angel unfurled his wings as if in triumph-and completely blocking the now cowering Dave.
The audience applauded-standing ovation- I mean how could you not...
The angel bowed and walked off.
Dave was gone- Manny wasn't sure if he fled or was disappeared by the angel- all he knew was Dave was gone. Either way it was a civil end for Dave since bad Shakespeare usually brought out the flaming sword and either paramedics or the coroner
The sword was brought out for the next reader, a tall lanky guy, who Eden said was a much published poet. Perhaps he was published but he was no reader- he took his lines which should have been spaced with rhythm and ran them together into one giant word which he tried to vomit out "ohmylovemydarlingIamforeverlivingwithin..."
"Just GO!" said the angel as he flipped the pages to the floor with his sword.
A few more readers. A few more disasters- though one guy did manage to get through most of his bit without incident. It was only when his story took an expected, and in the angels’ opinion uncalled for, turn from comedy to tragedy that it went wrong with an angelic demonstration of the sudden turning of events.
Manny turn finally came and he nodded to Eden as he passed "I got this" he said.
As he adjusted his pages and made a great show of getting ready. The audience tensed. The angels just stared wondering what was coming next.
Manny looked up "Before I start I'd like to say to the bar keep around for the heavenly host on me -and make them doubles"
The angels cheered and turned to order ad Manny began to tell his story about a man who walks into a bar and found a bunch of angels drinking.
And now Randi's links
Sounds in movies
On James Joyce's masterpiece and the battle with censors
Death defying day jobs
A rocket bikecycle
How did the Shroud of Turin get its image?
All six Star Wars films at the same time (and I do mean the same time)
The Brooklyn Subway Centennial
Did movies begin in Leeds?
Paris's disappearing booksellers
Fashion that kills
How the Sikhs save Parmesan